My high school year book destroyed in the flood

Exactly one year ago, I was admitted to the hospital after complaining of chest pains and heart palpitations.  I remained in there for a few days and was released with the knowledge that I was ok.  The pains (which I haven’t felt since then, thank God) and palpitations were because of stress and anxiety for the most part. 

It didn’t dawn on me that the entire week up to my admittance, I tried my best NOT to think about the upcoming 3rd anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.  The more I “didn’t” think about it, the more I became tense and anxious.  I tried not to think about the loss that we suffered, the fear, the pain, and the years of adjusting that is still ongoing. 

I remember lying in my hospital bed with mixed emotions.  I was so happy that the National Democratic Convention was going on and I was able to watch our nominee, now President Barack Obama, make history.  It was an exciting time and wonderful feeling.  Yet, on the other hand, I remember thinking that change was coming to Washington, yet there are still so many people whose lives were changed drastically just a few years ago.  I want to believe that through the tragedy, all of us (Katrina survivors) have become stronger and better people.  We have come over to this side of Katrina victoriously.  We are no longer simply surviving, but we’re thriving.  This is all very true (at least it is for me), but that’s not the whole story.

Although God has blessed my family and I immensely since Katrina, I know that there are still issues that I deal with

All of our possesions destroyed

which did not arise until Katrina.  I know that my stress and anxiety the week of Katrina’s anniversary last year was not a coincidence.  What I know more than anything is that Katrina left an impression and hole in me that is bigger than I even care to admit.  I also know that I am not alone.

This year I believe that I am “handling” Katrina’s fourth year anniversary with stride.  I don’t feel the panic that I’ve felt the past years.  Yes, panic.  However, I do feel the “holding my breath” sensation and am just looking forward to August 29th coming and going.  Plus, I am “feeling” for all of my fellow Katrina survivors around this nation (and possibly the world), who are just trying to get past this date.  I know personally of my New Orleans friends & family who are dealing with sadness, depression, and even anger this week.  Yes, we survived, we lived, we are trying to get back to normal, but there is still residual affects.  Everyone doesn’t understand this and it’s most difficult to try to explain.

Then there are the day-to-day issues that many are still dealing with.  For those who’ve returned to live in New Orleans, they have returned to a new New Orleans.  Because I am not there, I can’t even relate to what they’re dealing with, but I know of enough friends and family there who consistently tell me how different things are.  There is recovery, but not ENOUGH recovery of the city.  In fact, where I lived in the Lower 9th Ward, has not come back.  It is still like a ghost town.  The Lower 9th Ward was possibly the hardest hit area as it was a direct hit when the levees broke, but there are other areas that were also damaged.  My friends in New Orleans East (which is still the 9th Ward) are still rebuilding their home…..yes, four years later.  Lack of money and resources are the biggest causes.

My office at work

I’m sure that many have their own stories and can tell you things that would make your head turn.  We are on this side of Katrina and four years later, wounds still have not been healed.   I want to encourage those who have not been through it to be sympathetic and compassionate towards those who have.   Please do not wear the mindset of “get over it already!”.  Believe me, we try.  To my fellow Katrina survivors, know that we are kindred spirits.  I feel you!  I also encourage you not to forget all of the blessings (yes, there were blessings no matter how tragic your experience may have been).  Allow yourself to feel, but don’t allow yourself to stay there. I tried to hold it in and it manifested in a physical way.  Have your meltdown if you must, but don’t waddle in it.  You survived the storm for a reason.  Now begin to focus on God’s purpose for, and in, your life.  You…..me……we……are on this side of Katrina and that means that we are strong, resilliant people, who have been given another opportunity to fulfill our purpose in life.

Blessings!

Carla Y. Nix